- Meidun’s aggressive sprawl zigzagged downhill from the massive fortress above, the colorfully decked-out lanes bulging with festival goers.
- Escape smelled like sour ale and skewered rat meat.
- The steep stairway leading up to the large terrace above doubled as a directory for the Pearl District, with multiple shops and ads stenciled onto any open stone-face available.
- Eliza ducked out of the hired carriage and paused, her totem senses humming.
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Why is it that first step out the door
is always the hardest? (Gotta run back in, forgot my phone; it’s actually kind
of cold out here so I should grab a jacket; my list isn’t in my pocket so where
did I leave it? Keys, anyone?)
Anyone?
Oof. Starts are the worse. I usually write something dreadful just to hold the place until I'm done and can go back and fix it. I really like your second one: "Escape smelled like soured ale and skewered rat meat." An economy of words, powerful image, and an idea of what we're getting ourselves into. Love it. I want to read the story that follows it.
ReplyDelete(And now I'm also wondering about the origins of "elbow grease".)
Work it.
Haha, I did the same thing as soon as I put the title to this post in.
DeleteAlso. Thanks for the feedback and I might send this first chapter your way before the critiques come up -- are you amenable to this?
Of course I am.
Delete"Escape smelled like soured ale and skewered rat meat." is still my favourite. But I know what you mean, I hate introductions they never come easily.
ReplyDeleteYes! Exactly! Those intros are killer *sigh*
DeleteGood feedback. I'm sending this your way too whether you like it or not ;)
:-) Awesome, can't wait!!
DeleteI wrote the start of my last novel ages before anything else, and kept going back to it like a kind of mission statement. It was hard to do, but it did make the next step a bit easier!
ReplyDeleteWhy does writing have to be so hard? *small whimper*
Delete